he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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