I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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