last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
