Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
