I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize