I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
