is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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