so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
