Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Someone came in the potted fern
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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