she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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