isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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