An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
