I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
im holly from the hills drunk
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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