Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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