First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
