Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
