Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
