mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
