im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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