well you can't waste a boner
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
