is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
That was before I lit my hair on fire
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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