I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
