haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
