you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
