i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
