I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
