it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
