I hate all girls vehemently.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
