The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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