You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
