i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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