dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
if i can run in heels then i can drive
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
