STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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