I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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