and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
