the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
