please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
