we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
