she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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