My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
