seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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