hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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