what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
