ya dads aren't the best wingmen
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
No more Irish car bombs ever.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
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