So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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