we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
