My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
