So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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