i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
