I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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