He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
