i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
