K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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