the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
