i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize