i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
