yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
