So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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