that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
